Creating authentic change in your life (incl. journal prompts)

Photo by Tachina Lee via Unsplash

Is authenticity stunting your growth?

It’s OK if your answered “yes”. It’s also really normal, and to be expected.

Many people worry that standing firm in their authenticity means not being allowed to shift or change (allowed by whom?). Or they stay stuck because they fear feedback from those who “know them best”, telling them that they’re not who they used to be.

Sometimes folx have an inner narrative that they’re “going against themselves” by doing what they’ve never done before. Or many mini identity crises to the tune of “this isn’t me” and “I’m not the kind of woman. who…”.

It can therefore seem like authenticity is at odds with growth.

So, can you keep growing, learning, changing and still be authentic?

Yes!

We learn; we evolve. Some aspects of who we are may be more deeply ingrained, even fixed, than others. But the beauty of life is that every choice you make is an opportunity to do it a bit differently.

Sure, you know by now that skills can be learned and sharpened. But, mindsets, habits, practices, and even values, can also be cultivated and deepened.

You can learn new skills and hone existing skills. You can detach yourself from negative or harmful habits, and start to build new, positive, supportive practices. And you can start living your core values more deeply every day with small actions.

You can still be you — while expanding your definition and view of yourself — along with the possibilities for how your life can unfold.

So don’t let authenticity become yet another trap, another restriction, another box. Recognize that being authentic doesn’t mean stagnating, staying the exact way you are today, forever (which, if I can get nerdy about it for a sec, isn’t even possible on a biological level).

Staying authentic through change is about being tuned in to what’s feeling honest and real as you move through life. Honor who and where you are — both the parts of you that are shifting and those that are constant — as often and intentionally as possible.

So how do you grow into your best self without losing yourself? With intention. Purposefully and mindfully.

And by checking in with yourself regularly. I recommend a mix of quick gut-checks in the form of Yes or No questions, and sit-with-sink-into journal prompt style inquiry.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself so you stay true through your growth:

Authentic Change Gut Checks

• Am I doing this (taking this course, switching careers, becoming a runner, moving to a new city, drawing this boundary in my friendship, etc.) because it feels right and important to me and for me?

• Am I growing in the direction of a deeper, stronger, better me?

• Am I taking into account my whole self when making new choices?

• Is my discomfort a result of stretching beyond where I thought my limitations were?

• Am I expanding or breaking off from myself?

Authentic Change Journal Prompts

• How am I making this change while still honoring my values?

• Which parts or aspects of myself are yearning for this change?

• What are the change-resistant parts of me worried about or scared of? What do they need in order to feel safe and supported?

• In what ways is this growth an expansion or deepening of the woman I already am and am committed to keeping true to?

• How has releasing mindsets, habits, and practices that no longer served me helped me become a better version of myself so far?

Remember, authenticity is not a fixed point. It’s not a place you get to. It’s ever-evolving and ever-changing, too. Give it that space, give it permission.

We’re always learning ourselves. And we’re unlearning ourselves, too. Empowered and resilient authenticity lets us do that and so much more.